Schlock in the Real World

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[Some kind of introduction/overview for this section]


Schlock Mercenary has been entertaining attractive and intelligent people the world over for eleven years. This is the story of how the best entertainment on the Internet came to be.


When we say "mercenary", we aren't kidding. Here are the various Schlock Mercenary items available for sale now or in the past (time machine not included).

Until those items are added, how about just going and buying some things from the store? Help a mercenary out!

Masters and Minions

The people that make the magic science happen.