Difference between revisions of "Genuine Imitation Ovalkwik"
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[[File:OvalKwikLogo.png|right|link=http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2006-09-17]] | [[File:OvalKwikLogo.png|right|link=http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2006-09-17]] | ||
=Description= | =Description= | ||
A pseudo-chocolate drink-mix preferred by [[Carbosilicate Amorph|Carbosilicate Amorphs]] like [[Sergeant Schlock]]. It consists of glucose, fructose, corn syrup solids, concentrated cocoa-bean extract, assorted methylxanthine alkaloids (including caffeine, theobromine, and theophylline), sodium laureth sulphate, Minoxadyl, buckminster fullerene, codeine, hyper-ephedrine, nicotine, with BHA and BHT added to preserve freshness. [[Chef Sergeant Ch'vorthq|Ch'vorthq]] characterized it as "a very heavy stimulant cocktail cut with shampoo and inert ultra-tensile carbon" | A pseudo-chocolate drink-mix preferred by [[Carbosilicate Amorph|Carbosilicate Amorphs]] like [[Sergeant Schlock]]. It consists of glucose, fructose, corn syrup solids, concentrated cocoa-bean extract, assorted methylxanthine alkaloids (including caffeine, theobromine, and theophylline), sodium laureth sulphate, Minoxadyl, buckminster fullerene, codeine, hyper-ephedrine, nicotine, with BHA and BHT added to preserve freshness. [[Chef Sergeant Ch'vorthq|Ch'vorthq]] characterized it as "a very heavy stimulant cocktail cut with shampoo and inert ultra-tensile carbon" [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2001-02-25 2001-02-25]. | ||
Although it should be mixed with a liquid & drunk, Sergeant Schlock eats it straight (but he has occasionally cut it with tequila). | Although it should be mixed with a liquid & drunk, Sergeant Schlock eats it straight (but he has occasionally cut it with tequila). | ||
It is what is meant by "The Tub of Happiness" (also | It is what is meant by "The Tub of Happiness" (also [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2001-02-25 2001-02-25]). | ||
=History= | =History= | ||
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Mixed with tequila [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-02-24 2005-02-24] and again [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-04-09 2005-04-29] | Mixed with tequila [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-02-24 2005-02-24] and again [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-04-09 2005-04-29] | ||
Schlock bathes in Ovalkwik, mixed with | Schlock bathes in Ovalkwik, mixed with castor oil, rock salt, and 50-weight hydraulic lubricant on [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2003-02-18 2003-02-18]. | ||
=Appearances= | =Appearances= | ||
Revision as of 04:05, 25 July 2017
Description
A pseudo-chocolate drink-mix preferred by Carbosilicate Amorphs like Sergeant Schlock. It consists of glucose, fructose, corn syrup solids, concentrated cocoa-bean extract, assorted methylxanthine alkaloids (including caffeine, theobromine, and theophylline), sodium laureth sulphate, Minoxadyl, buckminster fullerene, codeine, hyper-ephedrine, nicotine, with BHA and BHT added to preserve freshness. Ch'vorthq characterized it as "a very heavy stimulant cocktail cut with shampoo and inert ultra-tensile carbon" 2001-02-25.
Although it should be mixed with a liquid & drunk, Sergeant Schlock eats it straight (but he has occasionally cut it with tequila).
It is what is meant by "The Tub of Happiness" (also 2001-02-25).
History
New Ovalkwik Refreshing Energy Paste has been called 'sludgy', but that's okay, since the Ovalkwik Marketing Team bought the rights to add a new definition to the word "refreshing" 2007-10-26
Notable Examples
Used to revive an ailing amorph population on 2002-03-12 ("It's easier to sprinkle it on your friends if you don't read the ingredients, soldier.")
Mixed with tequila 2005-02-24 and again 2005-04-29
Schlock bathes in Ovalkwik, mixed with castor oil, rock salt, and 50-weight hydraulic lubricant on 2003-02-18.
Appearances
First appearance
The product is first seen on 2000-08-23 and first mentioned on 2001-02-25
Author's Note
[This space is reserved exclusively for Howard!]
Speculation
[Insert uncertain and speculative facts about the technology. Include links to Schlock in the Real World where appropriate.]