Our Story Thus Far

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As of the beginning of the current book...

Be warned, there are major spoilers herein!

[two paragraph summary of who the main players are]

The latest book starts 12/5/2016... summary to come.

The Books

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Book 1: The Tub of Happiness

Summary

This is the first 507 days of Schlock Mercenary. Meet Schlock when he enlists, meet Breya when she buys the company he enlisted with, and meet Captain Tagon, who doesn't want to take orders from a woman. **This 240-page collection of strips is in print, and you can buy it here**.

Plot Synopsis

A more detailed point by point explanation of the events

Meet The Mercenaries in which many people join Tagon's toughs, and a bitter enemy is acquired.

Diplomatic Pouch of Doom in which the toughs encounter a very strange ambassador sent to deal with an explosive situation

Mini-Adventure Number One in which the toughs decide to relax and go to a bar. Everybody's Gotta Eat in which the toughs go out to a restaurant BOARDERS!! in which the toughs must take their own ship from the hands of zealous food-service commandos and the sinister plots of the partnership collective. The Shopping Trip in which Tagon makes a great many business decisions with which Breya is less than happy. Bureaucracy Bountiful in which the toughs face lines that have spawned religions, save a lawyer, and find a surprise in an ancient computer. Bombs Ahoy in which the toughs must escape powerful bombs planted by the partnership collective without destroying Luna. Bounty Hunting In which the toughs find out why a no-weapons policy for visitors makes sense even in an office building. Big Haunted Battleship in which the toughs acquire an excellent deal with an interesting catch. Interlude: Interrogation in which even the narrator gets confused. Big Haunted Battleship in which the plumbing problems become a minor concern. Battle for the Wormgate in which winning a space battle isn't everything. Union Blues in which the toughs try to do less violent work. Interrogation Interruption in which a copy of an old friend must be rescued. Equivocated Prevarication in which Tagon is faced with a difficult decision. Magic Dream-Land in which the toughs are paid to prevent hurting people and breaking things. Schlocktoberfest 2001 in which the toughs battle monsters on a space ship.

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Book 2: The Teraport Wars

Summary

You've met the mercenaries. You've seen them kill or be killed. You've seen them kill AND be killed. Now see them recover lost body parts, fight in the biggest war on record, and create an entire demographic of clones. **This positively ginormous assemblage of 493 strips, the second (and demonstrably better) half of the first 1000 in the archives fills 228 pages of book, and is available here.**

Plot Synopsis

A more detailed point by point explanation of the events

Quest for Second Sight

..in which Schlock hires the company to help him steal a fresh set of eyes. Part I - Through The Ages ...in which the company learns of bits and pieces of Schlock's past. Part II - Through a Darkened Glass ...in which the resident mad scientist gets his first command. Part III - Through The Roof

The Teraport Wars

...in which we find that Admiral Breya Andreyasn has started a fight that the whole galaxy may need to help her finish. Part I - Kickin' Buuthandi and Takin' Names Part II - A Whole New Can o' Wormgates Part III - F'Sherl-Ganni or Cut Bait Part IV - Any Teraport in a Storm Epilogue - Send in the Clones

Petey Promoted

...in which everybody's favorite psychopathic, schizophrenic, cuddly, suicidally-inclined Artificial Intelligence is given a little bit of rope. Sawed-Off Schlockgun Filling the Tub of Happiness Schlocktoberfest 2002

Post Post-Dated Check Loan

... well, that last bit could have worked out better. But things could be worse, right? Part I - Raising Capital Offensive Part II - Tandem Acts of Kindness Part III - Handsome Ransom Part IV - Tempestuous Fugitives Part V - Might Makes Right-Of-Way

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Book 3: Under New Management

Summary

Captain Tagon, Sergeant Schlock, and the rest of "Tagon's Toughs" have been dragooned into hunting down an old friend. The trick isn't finding her. The trick is surviving long enough to get paid. **This 80-page book is in print, and can be purchased here.**

Plot Synopsis

A more detailed point by point explanation of the events

Part I - The REALLY Clever Monkeys Part II - Tonight's Top Story Part III - Board of Accidental Tourism Part IV - Under New Management


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Book 4: The Blackness Between

Summary

Tagon and company finally track down Admiral Breya. Explosions explode, treachery treaches, and the gorillas get naked. **This 100-page book is in print, and can be purchased here.**

Plot Synopsis

A more detailed point by point explanation of the events

Part I - Needle in a Haystack Part II - Breya in the Zoojack Part III - Trouble in the Outjack Part IV - A Little First Contact Part V - Backstabbing on the Fast Track Epilogue - Taking a Crack at Payback

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Book 5: The Scrapyard of Insufferable Arrogance

Summary

Captain Tagon, Admiral Breya, and their little fleet go hunting for work and spare parts... but not adventure. No, that was NOT what they were looking for. **This 80-page book can be acquired here, and is also available with the first four volumes in a boxed set known as "Munitions Canister I."**

Plot Synopsis

A more detailed point by point explanation of the events

Part I: Hand to Mouth Part II: A Hand of Acey's (CSI Parody) Part III: Handle With Care Part IV: Hand it Over Part V: Many Hands Make Light Work

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Book 6: Resident Mad Scientist

Summary

Tagon and company take a vacation, take a new job, and make some powerful new enemies. And then they discover that the galaxy may just need saving....

    • Released in July of 2010, you can get this 144-page book here**.

Plot Synopsis

A more detailed point by point explanation of the events

Part I: Primate Principio Part II: Schlocktoberfest 2004 Part III: Life's a Beach Part IV: Old Habits Die Hard Part V: Instant Replay

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Book 7: Emperor Pius Dei

Summary

The Toughs get a new ride, an old vacation, and a chance to be on TV. Meanwhile, in the galactic core...

    • Released in June of 2011, you can get this 176 page book here.**


Plot Synopsis

A more detailed point by point explanation of the events

Part I: Big Schlock, Little Schlock, What Begins With Schlock? Part II: Schlocktoberfest 2005 Part III: Return to the Tub of Happiness Part IV: Touch and Go Part V: Glamour Assault Part VI: Long Arm of the Law

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Book 8: The Sharp End of the Stick

Summary

Somehow Kevyn, Elf, Schlock, Brad, Nick, and Pronto have gotten themselves into primitive circumstances. Maybe things will get better if they make them worse first.

    • Released in June of 2012, you can get this 128 page book here.**

Plot Synopsis A more detailed point by point explanation of the events

Part I: Jeopardy Part II: Schlocktoberfest 2006 Part III: Out of the Frying Pan... Part IV: Do You Mind if I Rewind? Part V: Dropping The Other Shoe Part VI: ...And Into The Fire

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Book 9: The Body Politic

Summary

How much money do you need in order to swallow your pride (and sanity) and rescue a mortal enemy? How many times can you get paid for stealing the same corpse? How many of those payments will you actually remember to collect?

    • Released in August of 2013, you can get this 128 page book here.**

Plot Synopsis

A more detailed point by point explanation of the events

Part I: King for a Day Part II: Royal Flush Part III: Schlocktoberfest 2007 Part IV: We Kept The Party Hats Part V: Collecting Part VI: Thanks for the Memories


Book 10: The Longshoreman of the Apocalypse

Summary

New memories, new recruits, and a new contract. Welcome to Credomar, where things look like they can't possibly be made any worse.

Plot Synopsis

A more detailed point by point explanation of the events

Prologue: Drydock Part I: Wet Feet Part II: Enter the Longshoreman Part III: Schlocktoberfest 2008 - A Wrinkle in Time Part IV: Fuller's Soap Part V: The Longshoreman's Apocalypse Epilogue

Book 11: Massively Parallel

Summary

Our merry band splits into four commands to raise money for repairs. They are going to get interrupted.

Plot Synopsis

A more detailed point by point explanation of the events

Prologue: Meanwhile, At The Galactic Core Part I: High Olympus Command Part II: Barsoom Circus Command Part III: Credomar Command Part IV: Mallcop Command Part V: Command and Conquer


Book 12: Force Multiplication

Summary

Doctor Bunnigus makes a house call. It couldn't be that easy.

Plot Synopsis

A more detailed point by point explanation of the events

Part I: Black and White "We don't take kindly to your type around here" "I'm a doctor" "That what I said" (not actual dialog from this story)

Part II: Mass and Might We meet (among others) Shep's mom, a hooded stranger, and an evil doctor, and learn that Shep is upset that he can now only barely bench-press three times his own weight.

Part III: Fight or Flight While Schlock loves a good bath, we learn how he really cleans himself. Favorite line: Schlock: "That's sort of icky, but naked headless zombie Xinchub was worse"

Book 13: Random Access Memorabilia

Summary

In which we will find ancient puzzles, modern problems, and lots and lots of Gavs.

Plot Synopsis

A more detailed point by point explanation of the events

Part I: Read Brain surgery for everyone! The Gavs hire the Toughs for security on an ancient wandering artifact. Bunni & Theo get married (again, but they don't remember that). Part II: Write The Gavs aren't "Gavs" anymore. And a zombie. Road trip to MallONE! Part III: Execute The A.I. goes feral, a DaME and the UNS brings a battleplate to the party. Oh, and Schlock gets armor!

Book 14: Broken Wind

Summary

No ship, no job, and no prospects. But somebody did just pop a sapient balloon. Let's find out what's inside...

Plot Synopsis

A more detailed point by point explanation of the events

Highlights include: This station is HOW BIG?!?! "Engineering feats lose their punch after you've popped the containment system somebody built around a star" Challenge Coins! This station is HOW OLD?!?! Wait, the feral A.I. from last book isn't dead?!?!

Part I: Breath and Business Part II: Can Full of Sky Part III: Exhalation and Exit Strategies

Book 15: Delegates and Delegation

Summary

Hey, here's an idea. Let's take a job back in Sol System, one of the few places in the galaxy where they know our names and want to arrest us.

Plot Synopsis

A more detailed point by point explanation of the events

Part I: Confidence Part II: Conflict Part III: Conflagration


Book 16: Big Dumb Objects

Summary

Cans full of sky, balloons full of star, and rogue artificial planets full of death: They're not dumb, but poking them to see how they work just might be

Part I Part II Part III Part IV

Book 17: A Little Immortality

Summary

Maxim 45: The size of the combat bonus is inversely proportional to the likelihood of surviving to collect it.

Part I


Speculation

External References